Excerpts from Prof. Fomum's books

The Christian Couple - 1

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This will include time, money, commitment, strength, etc.. Oh, for sisters whose complaint will be:

  • “My husband is not fasting as he should.”
  • “My husband is not going on retreats as he should”.
  • “My husband is not evangelising enough”
  • “My husband is not visiting the flock enough”
  • etc..

But why are such women hard to find? Why are these positive complaints (positive because they are in the will of God) not made? Is the woman there to ensure that the man spares something from God? Is she there to ensure that God is not receiving too much or all?


The problem with most wives is the lack of consecration. When the woman does not do all to rise to the man’s consecration, she will complain negatively. The problem is not the man, but the woman’s lack in consecration. And often this lack is conserved.

Do women expect that the men should backslide in order to be like them? God, forbid it! When you are married to an unusual man of God, first acknowledge it and know what the difference is.

Some men also have to ask, “Am I this woman’s equal?” If you marry a strong woman and do not seek God whole-heartedly in a radical way, you are a finished man. But being uncaring has nothing to do with the pursuit of God .


The Song of Songs says,” I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. Come, my lover, let us go to the country side, let us spend the night in the villages” (Songs of Songs 7:10.) “His left arm is under my head and his right hand embraces me” (Songs of Songs8:3.)

If your husband keeps away from you, the problem is not God. If he gives God less hours, you will not have him more. You cannot transfer time from God to a man. It never works. It is not because the men are praying, reading their Bibles etc. that they are uncaring.

The failure of a man to take care of his wife has nothing to do with God taking away the time. It can only be a lie from hell. Let no woman blame God and let no man say that it is his consecration to God. A man should be able to say, “My failure to take care of my wife has nothing to do with my consecration to God.”

One of the causes of this evil is that the woman has lost the power to attract the man. Normally a man loiters around a woman he cannot resist. A woman must have what it takes to keep a man at home.


When a woman loses her consecration, she attracts no man. The problem is her consecration. Lack of consecration is the stepping stone for divorce in the heart. A woman divorces her husband from the day she abandons her consecration.

How do you expect a man who is being pushed to near breaking points because of the needs of the ministry to be given to an idling wife? Marital problems begin from the place where one of the partner loses God. Backsliding from the best place in one’s walk with God explains the problem.

The man and the woman must become and grow together as people of the glory. All the other marital problems are secondary. In every case, the problem is spiritual. Every problem in a relationship is spiritual in origin, and comes from one or both partners. Again, problems in relationships simply spell out a spiritual problem somewhere. Often, the woman and the man have a problem with themselves and with spiritual authority, and evidently with God.


A real walk with God makes a man emotionally full and overflowing. The secret for enjoying the married life is hot love for Jesus. A spiritual man cannot love a carnal woman.

A man’s communion with God will produce the following:

  • Love,
  • Joy,
  • Peace,
  • Patience,
  • Kindness,
  • Goodness,
  • Gentleness,
  • Faithfulness and
  • Self-control.

The problem is that most men are servants of God who neither really love nor commune with Him. If a man’s pursuit of God does not produce life, then he is a religious activist. A man who comes back from a retreat and does not bring with him God into the house has failed. He does not know God. He comes back stiff with nothing to overflow out with.

What most men need, is a contact and a communion with God. It is not the kind of spirituality that puts people off. When a man meets God, he becomes more pleasing and loving and life-giving.

A man who does not know God and who does not commune with God cannot run a home successfully. He may say that he is praying, but prayer is not the number of hours put in, but communion with God.

This lack of the knowledge of God means that the wife and the children do not receive anything from the religious activities of the man. A man full of God and character will not need too much time in the house before satisfying the wife and the children. I want to ask the uncaring men; Will God save money in some bank account while the family is in need? Will God turn the back to a partner in bed?

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Ave. Zacharias Tanee Fomum, P.O. Box 385, Bertoua, Cameroon

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